Editor’s note: I guess Halley and Celeste are hipsters :)
physics makes us all its bitches
Of Montreal – the undisputed reigning champ of inscrutable lyrics. This one shines particularly because it’s oh so true. Going ice skating? You’re soon to be physics’ bitch. Trying to carry five shots of tequila back to your table? You’re soon to be physics bitch. Think you can walk around the icy streets of your city in the wintertime with dignity? We’ll see about that bitch. Love, Physics.
I have a perfect body/but sometime I forget/ I have a perfect body/ because my eyelashes catch my sweat
O Regina Spektor. We love your rejection of ‘conventional beauty.’ Who needs a Victoria’s Secret bod when your eyelashes keep your vision perspiration free? A true role model for all us 21st century confused feminists who don’t know whether we should shave our heads or grow tresses to our feet
[correct answer: we should all be wearing Soviet hats – hair is over-rated].
She’s got an A-1 body and a face to match/She didn’t have money, she didn’t have cash
Where Regina leads feminists’ idealistic education, Belle and Sebastian break it down for the ladies: you gotta look good, even if looking good means striving for a rating usually reserved for quality livestock.
He’s got looks that books take pages to tell/He’s got a face to make you fall on your knees
If Belle and Sebastian limit their objectification to the female sphere, Mika takes the message to the other side of the gender spectrum: Gentlemen, even for you, it’s all about the looks. Can you imagine this spritely genius singing this line to you? It would have to be the highlight of any man (or, let’s be real, woman’s) existence.
I need a pick up and I don’t mean truck.
Brendan Benson doesn’t want any confusion – because if someone drops off an F-150 he’s not going to be pleased. Also what’s better than puns? Nothing. I rest my case.
The worst thing about living a lie/Is just wondering when they’ll find out
Tuneyards! Not only do your insane noises make hipsters’ hearts flutter, your lyrics, when they are intelligible, speak the absolute truth! Who cares about lying violating moral principles? At the end of the day, we’re all just hoping we don’t get caught…
My ego’s like my stomach/it keeps shitting what I feed it
This line wins for being the most graphic/funniest/truest metaphor we’ve ever heard in a song.
Dignity is rubbish
No shame/why not/I’m down. All these go-get-em attitudes are captured in Jhameel’s three-word line. I think about this line every time I sprint down the street with my backpack on, hauling butt after the bus. Love, love, love.
I’m runnin’ through these hos (hoes?) like Drano/I’ve got that devilish flow, rock and roll, no halo
Any uncle-nephew duo who can make Madonna do the shuffle during the SuperBowl half-time show is a-OK in our book. Oh, and they make great (if misogynistic?) puns. Bonus. Here’s to you, LMFAO. May you wear your animal print pants in good health.
I like you but do you care?
Brendan Benson, for another win. This line sums up any of those awkward, lop-sided relationships that grace your life. You know, it refers to those people who are so awesome that you leave them five texts in a night saying, “Come out! Come out tonight!” And even though they never respond to any of them you embrace Jhameel’s “Dignity is rubbish” and you text them the next morning say, “hey, let’s do brunch!” (What’s that you say? You don’t know where we’re coming from because you have the maturity to restrain yourself? Duh, we do too. This was all just hypothetical… obvi.)
